If there was ever a time for me to blog or write a journal this is it. Been promising a new CD for a long time, but let me explain what I'm up against. Most of you have never seen me perform live, but the smoothness and impeccability of my performance is what has kept me working steady for the past twenty something years. My main problem has been overcoming the fear that sets in when a recording machine is running during my performance. I don't know where it comes from, but its someplace deep inside where I have to battle against my own self sabotage. A note comes out as smooth as silk when there is an audience, smooth as silk even when I am alone at home or singing in the car. Press "record" on a machine and all hell breaks loose inside me and the same confidence and ease of projection is sabotaged by some insane fear of inadequacy. That fear has come out and made its presence felt on my previous CDs. It comes out as lack of talent, and although you've never seen me perform, again, how could there be a talent problem if I've been working full-time 5-6 nights a week in America and Japan since 1982??? I'm determined to eliminate it from this next recording, no matter how long it takes or how many times I have to sing the same part over again to get it right. Here's how its been going for me: Rehearse the part. Okay it sounds great. Press record. Oh no, it sucks. Rehearse again. Hey, sounds even better. Record. Sucks less but still sucks. Record again. Same results. record again. record again...and again...and again...and again...and again until an hour or more has passed and I'm still working on the same part which is maybe only 10 seconds long on the track. So now its time to break or work on something else that may be easier. That explains why its taking so long, why its so heartbreaking and what I'm complaining about. The details of the production side of the music are so numerous its mind-boggling! Details are not exactly my strong point in life. If they were, you'd be getting a lot more blogs from me because there's a hell of a lot going on in my life, so much so that even finding the TIME to write them in my own personal journal is something that only takes place 2 or 3 times a year. Being a performer, an artist, a company president, doing spiritual study,technical research and exercises, a father and a bunch of other family roles that include cooking and housekeeping, physical fitness exercises and maintaining a healthy diet and style of life entails a lot. You know this. You're doing most of it or some variation of it yourself too, right? So, anyway TIME AND DETAILS are two things that I need to master at this point in my life. Hell, I hit those notes easy as pie 6 nights a week at the Ritz Carlton and other spots so what's the deal here. My shyness about performing in public was so great in the beginning that I had to have a drink before every set. At one early point I had to have a glass of scotch sitting next to me on the piano. Now that's gone, and so is the drinking, but I still need to overcome the shyness that has accompanied this new venture into actually making a professional sounding recording...something for the world...not just for me and my close friends and fans...and that's what its been up to this point but now its time to graduate to a higher level.